


even if it takes one night or a hundred years

by mscarlymarie



Category: Anne of Green Gables - L. M. Montgomery, Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: ALMOST Character Death, Angst, F/M, I cried while writing this, Love, Romance, Sadness, cole is mentioned but not present im sorry, happiness, happy ending i swear, it's just super angsty, sorry i think a lot when im going to bed, there is a lot that happens in here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-08
Updated: 2018-09-08
Packaged: 2019-07-08 09:44:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15927863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mscarlymarie/pseuds/mscarlymarie
Summary: Anne and Gilbert have a moment then everything changed.





	even if it takes one night or a hundred years

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so two fics in two days from me???? That is a big shock to me. Also I wrote this in two hours so be nice when giving criticism. I think I might rewrite it later just to fix something. I'm also super tired when writing this. It will also be posted to my tumblr psidom. Grab some tissues?

The branches scrapped at her skin, the leaves crackling with every step- she ran until she couldn’t run anymore. She dropped to her knees and felt the dig of the fallen twigs into her skin as she put one hand on her chest while the other clawed at the tree trunk she sunk next too. 

She couldn’t breathe. 

She detested panic attacks. She hated how her body could forget how to breathe, she wasn’t dying, so why did she have to go through this? Her hand moved from clawing at the tree trunk to clutching the ground in front of her. Her vision blurred. She was going to faint, she felt it. But then a figure appeared in her blurred vision. They knelt down in front of her and grabbed her face. 

They said her name. 

“Anne.”

It sounded like it was coming from miles away. 

She could faintly hear them say something else but she could make it out. Her vision began to fill with black dots. Her hand was pulled from the ground and placed onto something else. A sweater? No- a chest. She felt a heartbeat. She still couldn’t breathe but her hearing was coming back. The heartbeat had calmed her down. 

“In. Out.” She heard. 

They repeated it over and over until her breathing became under control. She closed her eyes for a second before opening them to a still kind of blurry Gilbert Blythe. He kept on repeating the breathing exercise until she finally relaxed against the tree. He removed his hands from her face and sat next to her. They sat in silence for a few moments before Gilbert stood up and offered his hand to Anne. 

Anne looked at it for a second before accepting it. As they stood, they both brushed off the fallen leaves of autumn from their bodies. 

Anne had wished to just go on their separate ways and forget about this, but Gilbert stood there and looked at her. Wanted to make sure she was okay. She doesn’t understand why the look broke her, but it did. A sob bellowed out and Gilbert pulled her against him, one hand on her back and the other stroking her hair. 

“Oh Anne,” he murmured into her hair. At some point while she was running, her bows must’ve fallen out, leaving her hair pin straight. Gilbert pushed the hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ears. 

She felt the steady heartbeat against her ear and like it did before, it calmed her down. But she wasn’t ready to let Gilbert go yet. It doesn’t make sense to her, but she doesn’t feel like making sense of it right now. She stands there, her arms wrapped around his torso while he was rubbing soothing circles into her back and stroking her hair. She loosens her grip to get some feeling back in her from holding on so tight and Gilbert took that as a signal to let go, so he did. 

Anne looked at him curiously before taking a step towards him. He doesn’t budge, just looks at her in awe. She slowly moves closer until she is able to reach up and lightly touches his cheek. His head slightly tilted into her palm as her thumb pads across his cheek bone. Admiring it. Gilbert stares at her, wondering what was going on in her head since he can usually read Anne like his own personal book, he couldn’t read what her feelings were now. It wasn’t until she cracked a small smile that he let out a sigh of relief. He closed the space between their bodies and let his head fall to her shoulder. Breathing in everything about Anne. 

Her hand moved to the nape of his neck and tugged onto the small curls there. It felt marvelous to move her fingers through his soft dark curls. Her smile widened when she felt him smile against her shoulder. 

His head moved and her breath hitched as she felt him press a small kiss to the nape of her neck. Then another. Then another. Until he moved up to her jaw line. Her cheek. Her forehead. Her nose. He hovered over her lips, his breath mingling with hers- waiting for approval. Anne wanted to say yes, desperately she wanted to, but then she remembered where she was. Who she was. 

“I can’t.” She whispered. 

Gilbert stilled in her arms. She knew she shouldn’t- couldn’t, but she made no move to leave. His eyes bored into hers, pleading to say yes. It was when she caught herself almost saying yes, she detangled from him. She took a step back and saw the defeat in his face. 

“Why?” He asked. 

His arms were limp against his side, he didn’t know what to do with himself, should he step forward and try and convince her? Should he take a step back and leave? He felt his breath come out shakingly as if his whole world had been torn from him, which is exactly what he was thinking. 

She attempted a small smile, but her face couldn’t even conjure that up in her state. “I’ve already accepted the fact that I will grow old alone, no one could ever love me-”

“Anne-”

“Please don’t say it,” She croaked. “Please. I’ve accepted that no one could ever love me, but I cannot accept losing a friend over- over, I don’t know.”

“A friend?” Gilbert asked, his brows furrowing. Anne stayed silent and stared at him, pleading to just walk away, but he can’t. It took him a minute to put it together, but he finally said, “Is this about Ruby?”

“Gil, I can’t, it would crush her and-”

“I’ve never liked Ruby, I know she has a crush on me, but I do not like her back.”

“It doesn’t make a difference, I can’t lose her.”

“But you can lose me?” He felt his heart shatter as she looked at him, knowing that she couldn’t betray her friend like that. He understood her loyalty, he did, but after the moment they had earlier, he was broken and angry. Angry that he let her in only to pull away and shut him out, willing to shut him out forever. 

“Gil, I just- I can’t.”

With that, she turned around and walked away. Leaving a broken Gilbert Blythe standing in the forest. She held her head high, willing herself to not to cry, but the moment she heard Gilbert mutter, “But I can.”- she cried the rest of the way home. 

All the pain she has endured throughout life, all the angst she has read in books could never prepare her for the way her heart went through a shredder. She could feel the pieces falling to the bottom of her stomach and she wish she could just rip it all out. Not have to feel this pain. She went to bed crying and somehow woke up crying too. 

The next week was hell for her. Going to school and feeling his presence, knowing he was just as broken as she was, it killed her. She kept her head down and stared at the wooden table. Diana and Ruby constantly asked if she was okay and she always muttered “I’m fine” before changing the subject. At one point even Miss Stacey came by to ask if she was okay. She gave the same response she had been giving everyone else. 

It wasn’t until the weekend that she started to feel the tiniest bit okay. Her and Ruby were riding the train to Charlottetown to visit Cole and Aunt Josephine. Ruby could tell something was going on, but she didn’t mention it since Anne didn’t want to talk about it during school, she wouldn’t want to talk about it now. The three were having a blast, telling stories of what Cole had missed, Cole telling new things he has learned about art, sharing their despair for their dearest friend Diana not being able to join due to other familial commitments. 

It wasn’t until Ruby and Anne were alone in Aunt Josephine’s house that Ruby brought it up again. “Are you okay, Anne?”

Anne looked up from the story she was writing- or pretending to write as she couldn’t’ find inspiration to write anything for a while. “I’m fine.”

“You keep saying that,” Ruby set down her paper and quill, “but I know you aren’t fine. I know something happened with Gilbert and it has torn you two to fragments.”

“Fragments, nice word.” Anne remarked, hoping to change the subject. 

“Thanks, but this isn’t about that. I’m not asking to know what happened between you two, but whatever it is you need to fix it. If this is about me have a silly crush on Gilbert, I will get over it.”

“Ruby-” Anne sighed. 

“It’s okay, Anne. Really, I will get over my crush, but I would have to be really dumb if I didn’t notice the way he looked at you.” Ruby smiled. 

Anne held her breath. Was this really happening? “Take the train home today, I’ll come tomorrow as planned, but Anne, you should go to him. Make it like the stories we write. Make it romantical. Don’t miss out on true love because of me.”

“It’s not true love.” 

“Oh it is, trust me. But if it wasn’t, it’s love and you didn’t deny it. Go, it’ll be okay.”

Anne, who used to deny anything connecting her to Gilbert, looked at Ruby with a small smile coming upon her face. If this was a few years ago, Anne would’ve laughed in her face and kept her feelings secret, but instead she asked, “Will you tell Cole and Aunt Josephine I’m sorry?”

Ruby laughed. “Trust me, they will not mind this one bit once I tell them.” 

Anne immediately packed her things and went to the train station. She hopped on the next train back to Avonlea. The whole rid home, she was fiddling with her hands, murmuring words, trying to find the right things to say. She was preparing this big speech, at least she wanted too, but for a first, words were failing her. She decided as the train stopped, she would just go and apologize and see where the conversation takes them. She ran back to Green Gables to drop her stuff off and let Marilla and Matthew know she was home early when she say the Barry’s were at her house. 

Entering the house she saw Marilla and Matthew sitting at the table with Elizabeth, Diana, and Minnie May.   
“Anne, what are you doing back already? Is everything okay?” Marilla asked, standing up and moving towards her. 

“Oh it’s all wonderfully fine, Marilla,” Anne smiled. “I actually came back to take care of something important. I hope you didn’t miss me for the three days I’ve been gone. Oh I have so much to tell you but I really must go.” 

“Anne.” She turned her head to the sad voice and saw Diana with tears running down her face. 

“My dearest Diana, what’s wrong?” Anne rushed to her side. 

“He fell ill soon after you left and the doctor came by today and he said,” She choked on a sob. “He said he wouldn’t make it through tomorrow. It’s Gilbert.” 

Anne’s face lost all color and she felt as if she was in those woods all over again. Except Gilbert wouldn’t be there to save her. The voices yelled after as she rand out of the house. Taking the familiar path towards the Blythe/LaCroix residence. She ran up and banged on the door until Mary opened it. Mary had tears in her eyes and looked mournful when she saw Anne. 

“Where is he?” Anne choked out, a hand pressing against her mouth to try and stop the whimper that was about to come. 

“Upstairs to the left.” Anne ran past her and two stairs at a time before she entered the room. 

She stopped at the sight in front of her. A doctor crouched over a pale Gilbert. A Gilbert who wasn’t moving. A Gilbert whose chest was barely rising and falling. She didn’t even hear Bash try to address her until he pulled the doctor aside and said, “Let’s give them a minute.” The door quietly shut behind her and her movements were slow and she made her way towards Gilbert. Her hand shakily went out in front of her to grab his. Her hand curled around his unmoving fingers. His hand was so cold and that made Anne cry even harder. Her hands were always cold and since she has known him, he has radiated warmth to her and those around her and he was lying here cold. 

She dragged a chair next to the bed and brought his hand to her chest. Pressing a kiss to it, she mumbled, “You can’t leave, Gil.” 

“You can’t,” she cried, “We have to write our story together, still. It can’t end here. This isn’t the end of the story of us. It can’t because it’s barely started. I was planning on coming here today to apologize and hoping we could just talk through whatever we needed to talk through, but then I’m facing this. I’m facing the love of my life about to leave me. Gil-”

She took in a deep breath before continuing, “I love you. You can’t- You can’t leave me. I don’t know how to face this world without you. Sure I have Diana and Cole, but I need you. I need my best friend. I need my partner. It took me so long to realize and believe it or not it was Ruby who made me realize it. Just, Gilbert Blythe, please don’t leave me.” 

She pressed another kiss to his hand and moved his curls out of his eyes. She sat there staring at him before deciding to fuck propriety and laid next him on the bed. Her head on his should and their hands lying on his abdomen. It didn’t take her long until she fell asleep. 

The moment she felt it, she sprung awake. 

“He’s not breathing!” She yelled. 

The doctor, who must have moved to sit in the room while she slept, ran over to Gilbert and began pushing against his chest. Anne wanted to stay next to him, but a pair of arms wrapped around her and pulled her away. She clawed at the dark arms, assuming to be Sebastian’s. She screamed. She cried. She just wanted to be next to him. She wanted to hold his hand, she wanted to be right next to him. But these arms were preventing her. She continued to claw at them begging to let her go. Let her go to him. It was then Mary stepped into Anne’s vision. She jerked away from her to get sight of Gilbert again, but Mary’s hands held onto Anne’s face and yelled, “He is doing CPR. He is trying to save him.”

Anne went limp at that and only cried. She watched as the doctor continued to push against his chest. Over and over again. Until he stopped. Anne looked at him curiously. Why did he stop? Gilbert’s abdomen wasn’t rising and falling again. Why did he stop? Why did he stop? 

“Why did you stop?” Anne asked quietly. 

“I’m sorry.” He said. 

“What?” 

Anne asked again, why did he stop? She watched as the doctor stepped away from Gilbert and she shook her head. No. This couldn’t be it. He couldn’t be gone. He couldn’t have just died in front of her like that. She was about to scream when she saw it. 

Up. Down. His mouthing slightly opening to breathe the air out. 

“He’s breathing.” 

She watched as the doctor fussed over Gilbert. Not understanding how it was possible he was breathing, but she didn’t care. He came back to her. He was there, breathing, alive. That is all she cared about. Once she saw Gilbert’s eyes flutter open, she broke through Bash’s arms. She kneeled on the bed, almost hovering over Gilbert. She grabbed his hand, his hand that had already started to gain its warmth back.   
“Anne.” He croaked out. 

She laughed as she continued to cry. “You can back to me.”

“Always, Anne-girl.” He smiled, shutting his eyes again. 

“We will give you two some time, but Blythe, we are going to have a serious talk about scaring the hell out of me.” Bash said, smiling. 

Gilbert merely nodded. 

“He’s right, you scared the hell out of us.” Anne whispered, holding their intertwined hands to her chest. 

“I’m sorry.” His voice was still hoarse, so she understood why he wasn’t saying much. She was okay with that, as long as he was here, with her, she was happy. However she started to cry again, moving to lean her head into the crook of his neck. She felt his arm slowly move around her waist to hold her to him. She cried every last tear until there were no more. They stayed there, holding each other for a few moments before Anne got brave enough to press a kiss to the nape of his neck. Just like he did to her in the forest, she moved up the side of his face. To his forehead. Then his nose. Until she got to his lips. 

“Don’t do it if you don’t mean it.” He pleaded. 

“Oh I mean it.” She watched him lick his lips. “May I?”

He took a second to look at her, to see the love in her eyes, to see that she did mean it. She was his. He was hers. The moment he nodded his head, she crashed her lips into his. She felt as if sparks were flying around the pair, keeping them away from the outside world. She brought her hand up to his cheek and let her thumb roam back and forth. She pulled away to give him some air, he only just came back from almost dying. 

She bit her lip, smiling, “I love you, Gilbert Blythe.” 

He laughed in complete bliss and looked at her. He was in shock that this was all happening, but he couldn’t have wanted anything more. He brought his hand up to stroke back some pieces of hair that became loose from her braid. His hand made its way down the braid before coming to the end. 

He tugged on it and said, 

“I love you too, Carrots.”


End file.
